Would Gordon Brown Prefer To Be Lord Kinnock?

Yes, I haven’t forgotten about the Neil Kinnock story.

Lord Kinnock

He's laughing because he is not Gordon Brown

I’ve been wondering, though, if there’s anything I ought to be writing about last night’s final debate between Cameron, Clegg and Brown. It sounds a bit like a 1970s thrash rock threesome, with Dave on lead guitar, Nick underpinning him on bass and Big Gord behind the drums. I’d love to see it.

Anyway, it was another disappointment for Brown. Cameron didn’t seem terribly interested in wanting actually to debate. Nick Clegg didn’t seem to have anything new to say. I thought they all looked desperately shagged out. Once again, Brown’s ears glowed nuclear red, a completely different colour to volcanic ash grey of the rest of his face.

In 2007, when Gordon Brown bottled out of declaring an election, I was sitting with Sally, my wife, one Sunday lunchtime in the Lord Palmerston pub at the east end of Chetwynd Road.

You might remember David Cameron’s complete demolition of our present Prime Minister at Prime Minister’s Questions (PMQs):

“This is the first Prime Minister ever to cancel an election because he thought he might win it!”

Back to The Lord Palmerston.

The door blew open, and in breezed The Welsh Windbag, Neil Kinnock himself. Lord Kinnock had probably prepared himself for the Palmerston by having a snifter or two before leaving home, but the agreeable effect it had on him was to make him noisily cheerful, rather than sniffingly lachrymose or boilingly aggressive.

He bounced up to the bar, ordered what seemed like five hundred and eighty-nine drinks, and then disappeared into the empty restaurant behind the bar.

Shortly afterwards, Lady Kinnock swept through the bar, accompanied by numerous relatives, flunkeys and ex-Wales rugby players.

Very soon, gales of sustained genial Welsh laughter swept through the pub.

Sally, raising her voice to make herself heard, just three feet away from me, above the jollity, said, “You know what they’re laughing about? They’re congratulating themselves that Neil Kinnock is not Gordon Brown.”

Yes. She was very right.

I wonder if Mr Brown now wishes he was Neil Kinnock?

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